How to have an unusual birthday

First, you get on a plane and fly to Wrangell, Alaska. When you pack, you must bring things to trade with the locals. Know your audience. In this case I chose 2 pounds of freshly roasted Caffe Vita, packets of exotic spices, 1 lb of fresh pepper corns, 1 lb of 25 year aged Parmesan reggiano, 1 lb of Spanish Manchego, MacBook software and miscellaneous forklift parts, including extra sparkplugs.

Get up the next morning to beautiful weather and John's special CheesyEgg breakfast. From there on out you just wing it. For example, you could go to Svensens boat building business and get them to weld new zincs on the jet boat "Kraken", then drop the boat in the water and zip all around the harbor testing out the boat for your upcoming fishing trip.


When you dock the boat, look around as something might be going on near by, like all the sudden Sarah Palin shows up to do a publicity tour "bill signing", because she got nailed by the press for never visiting Southeast Alaska. Wandering into these situations can be either fun or hazardous, but concentrate on the fun part because you never know when you might get to ask the future president of the free world her views on the pathetic state of Alaska recycling. Wherein she says: "I didn't know we had any bike races here, is that when all the bikers have to turn around and go to the lower 48?" I said "no, it means when you turn the washer on for a second time when all the grease doesn't come out of Todd's shirts". But she just sniffs and says she doesn't do that anymore because she is busy doing Gods work and doesn't have time. Not happy with the exchange, I pressed and she looked at me with bored glazed eyes and a photogenic smile while saying "uh... that could be a good thing, or not, I'll look intoit fer sure" .

Of course after that and the fact that you have been working out, go to the local diner with a view, for the biggest cheeseburger you can find. It is OK to eat this as long as it substitutes for your cake, and you don't eat it that too. At this point put a candle on the burger to seal the deal.





Time for birthday presents means a new fishing pole!! Sylvia calls my gear on the island "halibut sticks" and says they are too stiff. I picked them up at The Exchange by the dump for ten bucks so what can you expect? I am now set up with an 8' medium action rod and reel with 20 lb test. Time to learn a new craft.