VERSION A:
So there I was pal-ing around with Palin, and I started in on why Alaska isn't more proactive in recycling. Next thing I know she crosses her arms in a secret, obviously pre-arranged 
signal and one of her big burly state trooper bodyguards snuck up behind me and sucker punched me in the ribs with some brass knuckles. As I fell to the ground, John, who was my backup and photog, dropped his cell phone in a cup of water or he would have totally taken the guy out. Good news is the Xrays only show one shattered rib, one cracked rib and a few contusions that give the northern lights a run for their money.VERSION B:
So there I was hanging around with John, when he gets the Great Idea to run up this little trail to the top of Rainbow Falls. Usually a leisurly hike of 5 hours round trip, we cut it back to just over two hours, so had a solid hour and a half of running up stairs, then 45 minutes of hopping down. These are out of code stairs built by some sadistic conservation corp engineer. After that we ran down to the boat yard and proceeded to tarp and tape off the top of the "Fidelia" 45 feet in the air, build 
scaffolding, scrape paint, then to top it off, use sledge hammers and grinders to replace some bolts and zincs up under the hull, repaint the rudder, and remove and replace the prop zinc (using cement to hold it in) on the propeller nut. When you have wobbly legs in the first place, it is not a good idea to climb all around, jumping from one creaky scaffolding to another, you are bound to fall down at some point.
First, you get on a plane and fly to Wrangell, Alaska. When you pack, you must bring things to trade with the locals. Know your audience. In 
this case I chose 2 pounds of freshly roasted Caffe Vita, packets of exotic spices, 1 lb of fresh pepper corns, 1 lb of 25 year aged Parmesan reggiano, 1 lb of Spanish Manchego, MacBook software and miscellaneous forklift parts, including extra sparkplugs. 
Get up the next morning to beautiful weather and John's special CheesyEgg breakfast. From there on out you just wing it. For example, you could go to Svensens boat building business and get them to weld new zincs on the jet boat "Kraken", then drop the boat in the water and zip all around the harbor testing out the boat for your upcoming fishing trip. 
When you dock the boat, look around as something might be going on near by, like all the sudden Sarah Palin shows up to do a publicity tour "bill signing", because she got nailed by the press for never visiting Southeast Alaska. Wandering into these situations can be either fun or hazardous, but concentrate on the fun part because you never know when you might get to ask the future president of the free world her views on the pathetic state of Alaska recycling. Wherein she says: "I didn't know we had any bike races here, is that when all the bikers have to turn around and go to the lower 48?" I said "no, it means when you turn the washer on for a second time when all the grease doesn't come out of Todd's shirts". But she just sniffs and says she doesn't do that anymore because she is busy doing Gods work and doesn't have time. Not happy with the exchange, I pressed and she looked at me with bored glazed eyes and a photogenic smile while saying "uh... that could be a good thing, or not, I'll look intoit fer sure" . 
Of course after that and the fact that you have been working out, go to the local diner with a view, for the biggest cheeseburger you can find. It is OK to eat this as long as it substitutes for your cake, and you don't eat it that too. At this point put a candle on the burger to seal the deal. 
Time for birthday presents means a new fishing pole!! Sylvia calls my gear on the island "halibut sticks" and says they are too stiff. I picked them up at The Exchange by the dump for ten bucks so what can you expect? I am now set up with an 8' medium action rod and reel with 20 lb test. Time to learn a new craft.
So there I was pal-ing around with Palin, and I started in on why Alaska isn't more proactive in recycling. Next thing I know she crosses her arms in a secret, obviously pre-arranged 
signal and one of her big burly state trooper bodyguards snuck up behind me and sucker punched me in the ribs with some brass knuckles. As I fell to the ground, John, who was my backup and photog, dropped his cell phone in a cup of water or he would have totally taken the guy out. Good news is the Xrays only show one shattered rib, one cracked rib and a few contusions that give the northern lights a run for their money.
scaffolding, scrape paint, then to top it off, use sledge hammers and grinders to replace some bolts and zincs up under the hull, repaint the rudder, and remove and replace the prop zinc (using cement to hold it in) on the propeller nut. When you have wobbly legs in the first place, it is not a good idea to climb all around, jumping from one creaky scaffolding to another, you are bound to fall down at some point.
